Archive for Australian

Friday Fiction: Zombie Poetry

Posted in Original Fiction with tags , , on April 9, 2010 by gobbets

Zombies are big at the moment (I mean popular – the idea of giant-sized zombies is too terrible for words!). So much so that the Cordite Poetry Review has dedicated their recent edition to zombie poetry: Zombie 2.0.

Normally for Friday fiction I’d give you something new of mine, but since I’ve got two poems published in this edition (Zombies are People Too, and Dead Things Come To Those Who Wait) I though I’d cheat a little and let you enjoy the whole delicious feast of zombie morsels to your heart’s (or brain’s) content. Don’t forget to chew!

Monday Monster Profile: Drop Bears

Posted in Monday Monster Profile with tags on March 29, 2010 by gobbets

I thought I’d add a little local flavour to this week’s Monster Profile, so I give you – Drop Bears.

Image Source: Marvel Universe: The Appendix! http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix4/dropbears.htm

What are they?

Drop Bears are a type of carnivorous marsupial – kind of like a really big koala that likes to eat people. The live in trees, waiting for their prey to walk below, then suddenly drop down upon their heads in a flurry of teeth and claws.

Where do they live?

At present Drop Bears are only found in the Australian bush. However attempts to export them to New Zealand are currently underway.

What can I do to protect myself from Drop Bears while hiking?

Experts recommend holding a sharp-pointed object above your head as you walk so that if a Drop Bear attacks they are likely to be impaled on your weapon before they land on your head and tear your eyes out. Some locals suggest putting vegemite on your face to scare them off, but that’s just silly. Who doesn’t like vegemite?

I want more information!

Just ask any Australian – I’m sure they’d be more than happy to tell you in great detail about this most dangerous of predator – as a public service of course…